“She just needs to be more confident.”

It is a phrase many women have heard throughout their careers.

During appraisals.
After presentations.
When discussing promotion opportunities.
In leadership development programmes.

Often, it is offered with the best of intentions.

But what if the issue is not a lack of confidence at all?

What if women are demonstrating confidence differently—and organisations simply fail to recognise it?

The Leadership Behaviours We Reward

Traditional ideas of confidence in the workplace often look like this:

• Speaking first and often
• Projecting certainty
• Self-promoting achievements
• Dominating discussions
• Having an immediate answer

These behaviours can absolutely be valuable.

But they are not the only indicators of confidence.

Confidence can also look like:

• Thoughtful decision-making
• Asking insightful questions
• Creating space for others to contribute
• Admitting when more information is needed
• Quietly backing expertise with consistent action

Yet these forms of confidence are frequently overlooked.

As a result, women are sometimes described as “lacking confidence” when, in reality, they simply do not express it in ways organisations have traditionally rewarded.

The Double Bind Women Navigate

Women often face an impossible balancing act.

If they are collaborative and measured, they may be viewed as lacking authority.

If they are direct and assertive, they may be perceived as aggressive or difficult.

If they advocate for themselves, they risk being labelled self-promotional.

If they wait for recognition based on results alone, they may be overlooked.

The problem is not confidence itself.

It is the narrow lens through which confidence is interpreted.

Why This Matters for Organisations

When leaders misinterpret confidence, organisations miss opportunities.

Talented women may:

• Be overlooked for progression
• Miss stretch assignments
• Be excluded from leadership pipelines
• Begin doubting their own readiness
• Opt out of opportunities altogether

And the cost is significant.

Organisations lose diverse leadership styles, different perspectives, and valuable capability.

Not because women lack potential.

But because potential is being measured against outdated assumptions about what confidence should look like.

Moving Beyond “Fake It Till You Make It”

Women are often encouraged to become louder, bolder, and more visible.

Sometimes that advice is helpful.

But confidence should not require people to abandon authenticity.

Leadership development should focus on helping individuals expand their range, not erase who they are.

That means supporting women to:

• Recognise and articulate their strengths
• Build visibility in ways that feel authentic
• Develop influence without compromising values
• Lead in ways that align with both effectiveness and identity

Because there is more than one way to be a credible leader.

Questions Leaders Should Ask

If you are responsible for identifying and developing talent, consider:

• How do we define confidence in our organisation?
• Which leadership behaviours are consistently rewarded?
• Are quieter contributors receiving the same opportunities to shine?
• Are we confusing visibility with capability?
• Who may be overlooked because they do not fit our traditional image of leadership?

The answers may reveal hidden barriers within your talent processes.

A Final Reflection

Perhaps the question is not:

“How do we help women become more confident?”

Perhaps the better question is:

“How do we broaden our understanding of what confidence looks like?”

Because confidence is not always the loudest voice in the room.

Sometimes it is the leader who listens carefully before speaking.

The colleague who asks the difficult question.

The woman who steadily delivers results without seeking the spotlight.

At Lead with Difference Global, we believe organisations thrive when they recognise and value different expressions of leadership.

Because when women are no longer required to perform confidence in one particular way, they are free to lead in ways that are both authentic and impactful.

And that is when organisations gain access to the full breadth of leadership talent already within their workforce.

Are You Ready to Explore How Leadership Potential Is Experienced Across Your Organisation?

Take Lead with Difference Global’s Empowered Score Survey (ESS) to better understand the experiences shaping confidence, progression, belonging, and retention across your workforce.

Because when people feel empowered to lead authentically, they do not just advance personally.

They help organisations grow stronger through the power of diverse leadership.